Proposition I
by The Grand Waffle
Summary: This is an experimental story. It all begins with a question, posed by one Rei Ayanami to one Shinji Ikari. Popular demand insists that I continue.
1. Chapter 01: Good Reasons

**The usual disclaimers. This story was begun on a whim and a half-thought-out idea, but I suppose that's part of what makes it awesome. After all, a few scribbles on a bar napkin at 2 A.M. can become modern quantum physics. This takes very little time to write, and I (for some reason) really enjoy writing Rei, so expect new stuff to come up quickly. I intended this to be a one-shot, but apparently the idea's too good to die. Enjoy.**

* * *

"Shinji, be a dear and get the door, would you? I'm kind of in the middle of something," Misato pleaded, half-jokingly, from the safety of her exceedingly messy room.

Extracting himself from the couch with a mild grunt, the introverted Third Child set down his treasured SDAT and stepped carefully toward the door, avoiding several beer cans that weren't there a few minutes ago. _Must have had the volume up too loud, I didn't even hear the bell,_ he mused, nearly tripping over yet another empty beer, _My God, how does she even find time to drink it all?_

Bringing his hand to the electronic pad beside the door and sighing something about carpet stains, Shinji opened the apartment's only door, which slid aside noiselessly. He turned his head quickly to see who had rung the bell, barely containing his surprise as his eyes widened.

"Ikari."

An unkempt mop of blue hair greeted the boy, who stuttered his own acknowledgment, "A-Ayanami, Uh..." he stepped back, "C- Come in."

Cursing himself for his speech impediments, Shinji closed the door as the near-silent First Child slid past him, whirling around to face him when she reached the kitchen. If she noticed the aluminum cans littering the tiled floor, she didn't show it. Then again, she rarely showed anything.

"Who is it?" Misato called from the other end of the apartment.

Before the brown-haired boy could answer, his fellow pilot took the initiative.

"It is..." she paused for a brief moment, as if she was unused to introducing herself, "Pilot Ayanami, Ma'am." an unnoticeable grimace graced her porcelain face, showing her dissatisfaction with the words she had spoken. They seemed rather awkward, but that may have been because she always talked in a whisper, and yelling on any occasion was difficult.

As it was the purple-haired guardian heard her perfectly well. "Oh, Rei, it's you!" she shouted back, surprised. "I hope you're here for Shinji," there was a horrible crashing noise, after which she muttered, "I'm buried in junk back here..."

Rei looked unconcerned. Her posture shifted minutely as she focused all her attention on the boy standing in front of her. She noticed that he was wearing his school uniform, as was she, though it was a Saturday. She dismissed this fact as immaterial.

Shinji rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably, trying to avoid eye contact. He never knew what to say or do around most people, and this feeling was incredibly intense when he was around the blue-haired girl, especially when he was alone with her.

Realizing that the Commander's son was unlikely to attempt to begin a conversation, and that what she had to say was probably best gotten out in the open as soon as possible, Rei spoke first. "Ikari. I have something to ask you."

The boy looked up, locking his eyes with the girl's. "Um, what is it?" he inquired, wishing she'd just get it over with. His face flushed involuntarily.

"It is a proposition," Rei said, talking slowly and more quietly than usual. "Considering our respective situations,"

Shinji groaned inwardly. Most likely it was something about schoolwork or shift rotations or something. If it had anything to do with Doctor Akagi or more synch tests he was going to lose it.

"There is a high likelihood that one of us will perish in battle," Rei continued, her strange red eyes catching some of the afternoon light, "Therefore, it is in our best interest to prepare for an abrupt end to our lives." Her brow quivered noticeably. If she were a different person, she might have been losing her cool.

The brown-haired boy nodded, wondering if she was going to finish this century.

"Shinji Ikari," the girl said, obviously unaccustomed to using his first name, "Will you marry me?"

Shinji literally choked.

Rei stood stock still, watching with apparent interest. "Is there something the matter?"

"I- No- What? Can you," Shinji jabbered, trying to say a thousand things at once, "Repeat- What you just said?" He coughed into his fist, praying that he did not just hear what he thought he did.

"Will you marry me?"

The words almost made him laugh and cry at the same time. To hear them from anyone, least of all Ayanami, was about as likely as a kitten crushing Unit 01. And yet, here he was, not dreaming or anything, and here she was, real as can be, asking him to go all the ceremonial way. It was more than mildly unnerving.

For a moment, the only sound was the piercing hack of respiratory distress. What on God's green Earth was Ayanami doing in Misato Katsuragi's apartment, proposing to him, the least appealing human being on said green Earth?

"Sorry, I," Shinji coughed again, violently clearing his throat. "I- Are you serious?" The words spun out before he could stop them, prompting Rei to remark that she was, and to inquire as to whether he required a tissue.

Silence reigned for a minute as a million things ran through the boy's head. Most were decidedly unpleasant, though some were happy, and at least one was downright perverse. A chain of extremely loud noises and a few curses bursting from Misato's room shook him out of the reverie.

"Why?" was the only question the now-shaking Child could muster.

Rei remained unmoving, and unflinchingly calm. "I apologize if I have upset you. I merely wished to experience the state of matrimony," she phrased the word with some difficulty, "Before I expire."

Shinji's mind was awhirl with questions, comments, and ridiculous pleas for a better explanation. His most prominent thought was, _Do you have to be so scientific about it?_ but he was too freaked out to say that, so instead he blurted out, "What do you mean?" in one strung-together, rapid breath.

"It is probable that one or both of us will fall to the Angels before we have the chance to develop an adequate relationship," Rei said calmly, with the utmost patience. She added as an unspoken afterthought that he better not ask how she defined adequate, as that would take too long to explain. She hadn't really expected him to complain in the first place, given his love-starved life, but he was being troublesome against her wishes. It wasn't like she could just tell him to shut up and do her. Or could she?

Shinji's blabbering shattered those illusions. "This has got to be a joke," he muttered, as his mood quickly spiraled downward. "Did father order you to do this? Is Section 2 watching us?"

"Yes, but not for the express purpose of observing this conversation," the red-eyed girl managed, "This is not a joke, nor am I under orders. I came here of my own volition."

The next question was obvious. "Why me?"

Rei's expression became completely neutral. "You are one of only two males I have regular contact with. To ask this of the Commander would be inappropriate. You were my only other choice."

Shinji palmed his forehead with his hand. "So that's it?" he asked dolefully. "A lack of options? That's all?" he was beginning to sound disgusted with the whole thing. Misato rummaged around in the background, oblivious as usual.

"Do not misunderstand. If I did not view you in- a certain way, I would not consider asking you at all," Rei offered, trying unsuccessfully to dispel his unhappiness.

The second sentence piqued his interest. "What? A- What way?" Shinji stuttered, more confused than he had been during his first visit to NERV.

"I do not know how to say it clearly," the blue-haired girl stated. "I... Like you, Shinji," she said truthfully, once again using the Third's first name.

Shinji's brain was reeling from a one-two punch. First, for some inexplicable reason, Ayanami had come to his home, proposed to him (in deadpan, of course) and said she was serious (he still didn't get it). Then, after asking him to marry her, for God's sake, then she told him she liked him. All the rules of social interaction were no match for Ayanami's get-to-the-point conversation freight train.

To say the Third Child was startled, teetering on the brink of depression, righteous rage, epic sadness, and happiness on a scale undreamed of by the heavenly choir themselves, would be correct. However, a man leaning in four directions at once finds it difficult to fall at all, much less in a particular direction. Why, Rei could be acting under orders and orders to deny those orders, could be toying with his emotions for the hell of it, trying to gage his reaction for the hell of it, or be serious as all hell and want a honeymoon. Oh, what is a boy to do?

Stagger around and steady himself by grabbing hold of the fridge, apparently.

"Shinji, are you unwell?" Rei asked, now genuinely concerned. For the Third to die before giving her an answer, and perhaps even expire because of her question, would be horrible. Also, ironic. But mostly very bad.

Part of him wanted to respond, _Oh, sure, just peachy Ayanami! I'm just trying to figure out why God feels the need to twist my life into a hundred thousand knots for his own amusement!_ but that wouldn't go over well and he probably couldn't say it properly anyway. He settled for a few gasps of air and a nice, firm "No, I'm just f- fine."

The First Child, attempting to be helpful, asked if her counterpart required some water. What she did not ask is if he needed some time to think it over, which was exactly what she hoped he wouldn't need. Unfortunately, he didn't need her to ask.

"Ayanami, I'm sorry, but, I, uh," Shinji mouthed, wiping his nose. "Could I just, um, think about it for a while?" he stuttered, remembering someone telling him once that stalling for time was the only thing he was good at. It was a terrible thing to say, especially for a schoolteacher, but it stuck with him. (Yes, his life sucked)

The First Child's face beamed with quiet acceptance, which means her appearance didn't really change at all. Inside, though, she was regretting the present situation and felt that she could have handled it better somehow, but was fully aware that she couldn't do anything about it and might as well just let Shinji have his time. To this end, she straightened her collar and said, tactfully, "You may think for as long as you wish."

Shinji breathed a sigh of relief, which he didn't really care if she noticed.

Rei turned to leave. "You have my telephone number, correct?" at his nod, she said, "If you have anything further to ask you may reach me at home. I will be at Headquarters from seven to ten tomorrow morning."

The blue-haired girl slipped past the quivering Child, noticing that he averted his eyes as she passed. She touched the pad beside the door, and turned her head.

"Farewell," and she was gone. The door closed silently behind her, leaving Shinji alone in the kitchen.

Misato chose this exact moment to emerge from her room. "Well, I got all my clothes back in the closet!" she laughed, grinning broadly and giving the dejected boy a thumbs-up. Upon noticing his crestfallen expression, she frowned and stepped forward a little bit, wondering if it was something she should worry about or just the kid being generally moody.

Shinji said nothing.

Misato, taking it upon herself to cheer him up, shouted cheerfully, "Whatsa matter? Did Rei ask you to marry her or something?"


	2. Chapter 02: Ridiculousness

**There's far more humor in this than I planned, but meh. Do you really think a story with Misato in it could be serious 24/7? I sincerely hope you don't. Anyway, this piece is turning out to be more dialog-driven than most of what I write, which seems to work reasonably well. I hope everyone agrees. Enjoy.**

* * *

Rei Ayanami calmly departed the Katsuragi household, traversing the nearby stairway with light steps. A few moments passed and she emerged from the apartment complex, finding herself enshrouded by the bright light of the noontime sun. _That did not go well._

The blue-haired girl walked automatically toward the train station, keeping her head low enough to avoid eye contact with anyone who approached her. There were not many people on the sidewalk at that time, but whether it was ten or a thousand did not matter. The First Child disliked crowds, even small ones.

With the sun beating down and the breeze conspicuously absent, the walk was very unpleasant. However, Rei did not see any merit to acknowledging this, as she had no alternative method of transportation. Thankfully, her thoughts distracted her from the heat and kept her focused on the problem at hand. _Shinji._

_Perhaps I was too abrupt, _the First Child thought, avoiding a break in the curb. _The Commander's son seems rather excitable. Living with the Captain must strain him. I wonder why he chose to stay._

The truth was that Shinji really didn't have anyone else to go to. His father wanted nothing to do with him, of course, and no one else at NERV seemed to want a roommate, so his options were limited to living with the Operations Director or living alone, like Rei. Had Misato not insisted, he would no doubt have ended up in the same low-income housing as the First Child. But since the Katsuragi woman wouldn't take no for an answer, and Shinji never put up more than a token protest, he ended up several miles from the other pilot, in a residential district at the edge of town, where alcohol flowed like water at all hours of the day.

_She is quite... Loud, _Rei settled on. _But Shinji does not seem to mind. _There was that word again. That name. His first name. _It would be improper for me to continue to call him by his surname. I am no longer his acquaintance. _But where did their relationship lie now? She could not call herself his fiancée, for he had not accepted her proposal. Nor could she call herself his girlfriend, for they had never dated, or been intimate before that afternoon's conversation breached the subject. It was as if she had fallen between the cracks, into a gray area of her own creation. _I do not know what I am to him._

Were Rei the type to worry, this might be a very, very large problem, but as she was she saw it as just another fact and filed it away with the others. It was not very important, as she expected it to be resolved presently. Even a boy such as Shinji Ikari could not think forever. Sooner or later he would have to decide how to address her query. _Do I wish him to say yes? If he refused would I be able to ask another? _

Shinji was correct. She had no other options, at least at the moment, but she was also unlikely to acquire any others, now or ever. Only the Commander and his son could understand her. Only the Commander's son could marry her. If she wished to experience the feeling that so many others had the time to look forward to and plan, she would have to do it through Shinji. Rei Ayanami had been taught to be completely self-sufficient, but to form this "bond" she wished to have, she would have to depend on another, trust them, open up to them, perhaps even love them.

The blue-haired girl arrived at the train station more confused than she had been when she left, intent on asking for her fellow pilot's hand in marriage. _This dilemma is most odd. Must every bride-to-be experience these feelings?_

As the train departed, Rei was no closer to an answer than when she started.

Back at Misato's apartment, Shinji felt the same way, and his esteemed guardian certainly wasn't helping much.

"You'll invite me, right? I can go to the wedding, right?" the Captain pleaded, leaning over the kitchen table, her face as close to her seated charge as she could get it.

"You're not helping," Shinji grumbled. "This is a serious problem."

Misato did her best impression of a sad puppy. "Oh, have you got the jitters already, Mr. Groom? You haven't even set a date yet! Maybe fourteen is a little too young to get married... But Rei seems really mature, and-"

"Dammit!" Shinji cut her off, burying his head in his hands, "We're not getting married!"

There was a short, pointed silence. The charming songs of several birds carried through the open window.

Misato's gaze turned serious. "Did you turn her down?" she asked, settling into a chair beside the Third's.

Shinji shook his head. "I told her I'd think about it," he answered. His voice was muffled by his sleeves. "Help me." _This is ridiculous._

There was a tiny squeak as the fridge door opened and closed, then a snap as Misato popped the tab on what must have been her eighth beer since ten. She chugged half of it at once, moaned, and said, "I don't see what you need help with. A beautiful girl asks you to get married so you can both get it on before you die... Like something out of an old war movie." She swallowed the rest of the beer and crushed the can against her head, discarding it carelessly. "It's actually kind of romantic."

_Who said anything about getting it on? _"It- It's not that simple," Shinji told her.

"Like it's ever simple," Misato scoffed. "I say go for it. You can always get divorced later," she fetched another beer, "But with these Second Impact repopulation laws you might not get out of it before she cranks out a couple of kids..."

"That's disgusting."

The purple-haired Captain slammed her hands down on the table. "What? What are you saying? Are you saying she's ugly? Are you saying you don't want to do it?" she stood up quickly, knocking her chair over as she pointed to the sky, exclaiming, "Stop the presses! A teenage boy's refusing nookie!"

There was a snort, and Shinji lifted his head a little, unable to contain a laugh. _Damn you, I don't want to laugh right now. _But he couldn't contain himself, especially when he opened his eyes and saw his guardian's hilarious expression. Then he really lost it.

The festival of giggles continued for several minutes as Misato tried her hand at impersonating the Commander and Fuyutsuki at the same time, while drinking three different beers. At one point PenPen wandered in, and left just as quickly as he saw the elaborate dance moves and heard the strange grunting noises the humans were making. The poor penguin thought he was about to be sacrificed. _No more national geographic!_

"Alright, alright, that's enough," Shinji sighed, holding his sides in agony.

Misato reluctantly set down the empty cans and climbed down off the table, sorry that it had ended so soon. _If he was older I'd take him out with Ritsuko. That woman does some crazy shit when she's hammered._

"Okay," the Third Child breathed, calming himself down. "What am I going to do about Rei and the- um- the thing?" he coughed.

"Take her on a honeymoon, you jerk. Okinawa's nice," the Captain suggested, tipping her chair right-side up and plopping down in it. "I'll have to take her shopping," she said mischievously, "I doubt she even knows what lingerie is."

Shinji took a seat, glaring momentarily. "Seriously..."

"Geez, lighten up, would ya? You're so tightly wound it hurts!" Misato shouted.

"Sorry."

_Still so quick to apologize, _the woman thought. "You don't have to sulk, you know. I just thought you needed a little cheering up." _Poor kid._

Shinji's expression softened. "Thanks. I guess I did."

"So what are you going to do?" the Captain asked, looking into the Third's eyes. He was scared, just like most guys facing that kind of commitment. It was said in several different ways.

The boy's face sank into his hands again. "I don't know." _No running away._

"You have to do something," Misato urged, "You can't just sit here and mope all day. Tell her how you feel."

"I don't know how I feel," Shinji admitted.

Misato sighed, leaning back as far as she dared. "Tell her that, then. I'm sure she'd understand. She probably doesn't know either, it's not like she knows any more about this than you," she mused, reaching for a bag of chips.

"Right..." the boy agreed, wishing he could just lose himself in his SDAT like always. It was a lot less painful just dealing with things when he absolutely had to. _But I can't do that this time, can I?_

As she crunched down some oily, fattening goodness, the Captain tried without success to figure out what the hell was going on. Rei proposing to Shinji was about the last thing on the list of things she expected to happen, right behind the Commander going to Disneyland. Sure, the threat of the Angels destroying the world made her want to do some crazy things too, but she had settled for swearing vengeance and killing them all. What in God's name made the quiet little red-eyed girl want to marry Shinji? Did she even have a motive to speak of, was it all just on a whim? She always seemed so controlled, keeping everything inside, secret from everyone else. It was kind of creepy, if you thought about it for a while. Zombie creepy.

_This is the most ridiculous shit ever. _"What do I do, What do I do, What do I do..." Shinji ruffled his hair, trying to think of any advice, any advice at all, that would help him through this weird-ass situation. What would Toji or Kensuke say?

_What, are you nuts? _Toji would shout, punching him playfully in the ribs, _Go for it! There ain't no reason to say anything but hell yes!_

_I agree with the jock-master, _Kensuke would state, adjusting his glasses. _If you could get some pictures of her, that would be pretty awesome, too. _He'd grin. _You want to borrow my camera after school, just in case?_

Shinji sighed. "That was no help."

"What was that?" Misato inquired, stuffing the chip bag back where it belonged, in the cupboard of shame. It was unnerving how she could almost feel her hips getting bigger.

"Nothing," the boy answered. "Come on, advise me, oh great and wise Operations Director," he said reverently, bowing to the woman with a large smile on his face.

The Captain shrugged. "Whatever. What's with you today, anyway? You're not as gloomy as usual," she observed with a smirk, "Thinking about married life already, huh? Waking up next to Rei in the morning, feeling her soft-"

"Stop!" Shinji interrupted, blushing.

Misato folded her hands under her chin. "You're no fun. Maybe I'll just shove you in the car, take you to her apartment, and stand guard at the door until you do something manly."

_She wouldn't. _The boy's face contorted. "You can't do that."

"Oh, can't I? I could order you to feel her up, you know," the purple-haired woman asserted, winking. "I bet she wouldn't complain. After all, you are engaged."

"We- We're not engaged, Misato. I can't do that."

Misato sighed. "Such a gentleman. The world doesn't deserve you, kid," she leaned over and palmed his head, messing up his hair and giggling girlishly. "But in all seriousness," she settled back down, allowing her charge time to fix his appearance, "I think you should just tell her you want to get to know her better first. Take her out someplace, actually talk to her once in a while, see where it goes."

After a moment's consideration, Shinji decided that that was, pretty much, exactly what he wanted to do, though the prospect of getting to know anyone better was frightening. _Mustn't run away. _"That's perfect. Thanks, Misato," he said happily.

"Yeah, yeah," the Captain replied. "Learn from my example, young one, and start solving your own problems. I won't be here forever you know," she laughed, smiling.

Shinji grinned. "But you never solve your own problems."

"Hush. Go play with your wife."

"Please don't say that..."

And so it continued, for well over an hour, until Misato was satisfied that she had tortured the boy enough. He still had absolutely no clue what he was doing, and in fact he had probably decided to just avoid the issue until he saw Rei, at which point he would repeat exactly what the Captain said and then fall silent like an idiot. It was a work in progress, as always.

That night, Section 2 (NERV's resident spooks) delivered a large file to the office of one Gendo Ikari, the Commander of the most powerful organization on Earth (besides Seele). Among this file's contents were a bundle of transcripts, most of them uninteresting, and a small device which stored all the audio the spies had recorded in Tokyo-3 that day. As usual, Gendo perused the reports, ignored most of the transcripts, and played back only the most intriguing parts of the audio record, using a handy little computer concealed in his desk. Fuyutsuki, as usual, stood off to the side, looking bored and wishing he had a chair.

After running through the section of sound that piqued his interest several times, Gendo stuffed everything back in the folder and said, broodingly, "This could be a problem."

"What are you going to do about it?" the Sub-Commander asked.

The Commander folded his hands. "The First Child's personal life is none of my concern, so long as it does not affect her duties negatively. I will treat this... Incident... In the same way."

"You mean you're going to give her a warning, and if her synch ratio drops or she disobeys your orders, you'll do something drastic."

"Precisely."


	3. Chapter 03: Merely Revelations

**Yes, this is a shorter chapter, but only by about a fourth (word-count wise). Don't fret, I'm not going to be cutting the story down to a paragraph at a time, or anything, I just got into an odd spot with this one. No dialog, only thoughts, which apparently Rei has a lot of. Meh. The next chapter will make up for it. You'll just have to wait and see what I'm talking about (not long), unless you can guess. I bet you can't. Enjoy.**

* * *

Shinji went to bed with an unreal feeling. It was as if his whole world had collapsed and been rebuilt in a day, only someone had put it back together wrong. _Maybe I'm going insane, h_e considered, rolling onto his side. The sweet music of his SDAT was not enough to make him forget, this time.

"Damn it," he groaned, turning off the infernal device, "Why does this have to happen to me?"

That night promised to be a very hard one for the bewildered boy. He had thought about calling Ayanami before it got too late, but he kept putting it off and putting it off until he found himself already in bed. It was likely that the blue-haired girl was still up, but he tried to ignore that possibility. Finding peace was difficult enough without all the events of the day weighing on him.

"She likes me," he mumbled. That much he remembered, at least. "She wants me to marry her... But I don't have to..." She wouldn't push him, of course. Rei wasn't the type to insist on anything. She'd probably leave him to himself until he made a decision.

And therein lay the problem. _This isn't something you do by yourself. I can't just jump into this, Rei, I just can't. _Though he didn't realize it yet, he had started referring to the girl by her first name. What this meant for his subconscious was a mystery.

Shinji turned again, settling flat on his back and drooping his right arm over his eyes. _At least I don't have school tomorrow, _he figured, _That would really suck. _Indeed it would, since he would arrive bleary-eyed, drowsy and likely depressed, but the over-zealous class representative wouldn't let him sleep.

The brown-haired boy yawned. "I don't want to think about this," he muttered. Trying to think of anything except Rei, he drifted into a surreal world where everyone had red eyes and blue hair, and they all wanted a piece of him. After several minutes of fitful sleep he awoke, wondered out loud why his brain hated him so much, and plunged his head into the pillow. Dreamless rest would find him later, once he was fully exhausted.

Across town, in the district where construction never ends, the girl who had proposed to Shinji (without thinking it through) lay motionless on her bed. Her eyes were closed and her breathing light, but she was very much awake. Nothing could drive the thoughts of Shinji from her mind, not even the unpleasantness that was Teletubbies. Once, just once, while walking past an electronics store, Rei had witnessed a snippet of that demonic children's show, and the images had been lodged in her subconscious ever since.

_I did not wish for this to take so long, _Rei said to herself, _The longer he waits, the greater the likelihood that one of us will perish. _

Utter silence reigned in the Ayanami household, broken only by the occasional drip from the kitchen faucet. All was stillness, all except for the girl's thoughts. Normally she could control them with minimal effort, and force them to retreat to the quiet at a moment's notice, but tonight... Tonight was an exception.

_He did not call. _She sighed softly. _That is understandable. His life is governed by authority figures. He is unaccustomed to making decisions._

Shinji's character acted very much to Rei's disadvantage. The Third Child preferred to follow the orders of another, as he believed that all his own choices would bring was pain. To act on his own desires, or act without anyone's advice, was inconceivable. Of course, Rei knew that he would go to the Captain for assistance, which she had counted to be a good thing. The woman tried continuously to force her charge to be more outgoing, form relationships, and be more social. To cultivate a kinship with the First would accomplish all of those things, to varying degrees of course.

_He cannot accept my proposal, _Rei told herself, _To do so would be to go against all that he is. The most he will do is attempt to know me better. _She shivered. The prospect of knowing the boy better was strangely exciting to her, if only because she had never connected with anyone but the Commander. Being in the presence of anyone but that man elicited a very foreign, slightly uncomfortable feeling. _But it is no longer so with Shinji._

The realization was almost shocking. Her relationship with the Third Child had never been deep, and she had been satisfied with that, until very recently. Now, acting on impulse, which was something she rarely, if ever, did, she had destroyed the wall between them. _Have I broken an unspoken rule? I merely wished to experience the closeness that others feel. He is the only one I desire to be close to. Was telling him the right decision?_

Rei sighed again. _I had no alternative. _

Awkwardness would no doubt follow, but there was no way to avoid that in the first place. She and Shinji were two completely different people, and as the little pop culture she had absorbed told her, this was bound to lead to conflict. Though she could not quite imagine him being angry at her, it was acknowledged as a possibility. There would be much to prepare for, and much to do, in a very short time. But such exertion was no doubt preferable to a life and death without closeness, without love.

_Will he... Love me? _It was a question Rei had not asked herself before. Such an immaterial emotion served no real purpose, as the Commander had told her. It could only interfere with her duties, and so it was to be given no thought and no action. Those were her unspoken orders. Do only what needs to be done, think only what needs to be thought. A simple thought, regarding her expendability, and the "death" of self, had triggered a chain that led to this, the changing of priorities, of the force that drove her forward. Rei no longer lived for EVA alone. She had her own purpose, her own need to fulfill.

_I will not leave his side. I will protect him at any cost. We must both survive, or all is lost. These are the things I now know. _She opened her eyes. Generally she did not think nearly this much, but there were... extenuating circumstances. The preservation of certain factors had become her prime goal. In short, she needed Shinji more than anything else she knew. The EVAs could be destroyed and remade, but the Third Child's life was a good deal more fragile, and therefore much more valuable. To be close to EVA was a simple matter, one that did not fulfill the heart by any means. To be close to another was extremely difficult, but according to all that the world said, it was the most rewarding action one could take.

_I am not a doll. _Her backups were not herself. They were not unique. Her life was her own, once given up it could not be transferred. Though her soul might be taken by a similar body, it would no longer constitute herself. This was what she had known, and what the Commander had known, but never said. But of course, he wouldn't have said that at all. He needed the soul she carried, nothing more. All but her spirit was expendable. _My memories. My will. He would not preserve them. He uses me for his own benefit._

And Shinji? He was used as well, to pilot EVA, to follow orders without dissent. To slay Angels without question of morality. To survive, to perpetuate the scenario, and to live as a slave to NERV. He was no better than Rei herself, though he did not realize it.

_We are the same. _The blue-haired girl swung her legs over the side of the bed. _I did not realize this. _The First Child stood up slowly, leaving indecision behind. _I have been selfish. Marriage is a union between equals. If we do not both desire the same, it will fail. _She headed for the bathroom. _I must make him see what he does not. In time he will understand why._

The last thing Rei wanted was for the process to take longer, but she recognized that if she did not do it right, nothing would come of it, and both her and Shinji would be worse off.

_I know what I must do. _She discarded her clothes and stepped into the shower. _Today we begin our relationship. He will not refuse. _

Shinji stirred. For a brief moment he awoke, leaving his almost peaceful dream and blinking his eyes open. He glanced at the clock beside his bed, noticing that it was now early morning, half past five. _It's Sunday. Ayanami's going to be at NERV in an hour and a half, and she won't be done till ten. _The boy yawned and settled back into a comfortable position. _I'll just sleep for a little while. Breakfast can wait. _He sighed. _What am I going to do... Rei... What am I- _And he was asleep again. Peace would find him for a little while, until he gained the strength to worry some more. Sunday was sure to be a very interesting day, for both Children.


	4. Chapter 04: Moving Forward

**Sorry for the late update, but at least this chapter's longer, right? Don't hate me. I promised you that this next installment would make up for the last one's shortcomings, and I'm pretty sure it does. Lots of dialog, some mindless comedy, and an interesting development. Did I mention Shinji takes action? No? Read on. (and enjoy)**

* * *

_What is EVA? _Rei thought to herself. Her eyes were closed, and her lungs full of LCL. The cold synthetic plugsuit wrapped around her like a second skin, aiding her in her task. A-10 clips adorned her head, linking mind and body to EVA's heart. _Does it feel? Does it hold affection for others? Does it wish to be close to them? _The girl experienced a pleasant feeling at this thought. _Is it... like me? _

A memory of Shinji's face entered the mind of the red-eyed girl. He was smiling, laughing even, as his two abrasive friends grinned capriciously. Rei's brow furrowed. _I can not cause these feelings. I confuse him. He does not understand. _The memory was extinguished, and a new one replaced it. Shinji had taken on a surprised expression. He had just seen the First Child wheeled into the EVA cage, to do the job he refused, to pilot Unit 01 and defeat the Angel besieging Tokyo-3.

The images changed again; now the boy's face was contorted with fear, but tempered by deep resolve. _He is... _To save Rei from a fight she would certainly not survive, the boy bent his own will to his father's, and entered the Evangelion. _He wishes... to protect me? _With callous disregard for his own safety, Shinji followed the orders he would otherwise defy, because of one person and one person alone. _Me._

Doctor Akagi, Captain Katsuragi, and Commander Ikari could not convince the Third Child to pilot, to save them all from the wrath of God's messenger. His father weighed him with guilt by suggesting that his inaction would lead to the death of all humanity, but it had not been enough. In the end, pressed for time, the bearded man brought out his trump card, the badly injured Rei Ayanami. Forced to decide between protecting himself and protecting a stranger, Shinji chose the latter.

_I am... important to him. He pilots only to spare me. He endures great pain so that I can remain safe. Shinji... Can I not be selfless? Can I not protect you in return? Might I not ease your pain? _Rei took a breath. The synch test was almost over. She could feel EVA pulling away. _Shinji. We are not unlike EVA, desperate for contact and feeling. But EVA has no voice... I will make you aware of mine. I am not the same. _With this surprisingly convoluted thought, Rei broke out of her relaxing reverie. The plug had been disconnected. The test was over.

"Shinji, more toast!" Misato called.

"Right away," the boy sighed. The predatory grin on his guardian's face suggested that she was either going to torture him psychologically or jump him. Either way, it was going to be an interesting morning.

The purple-haired woman stole a quick glance at the clock and returned her gaze to the apron-wearing self-appointed cook of the Katsuragi household. "Are you gonna see Rei today?" she asked in a sing-song voice, "She'll be home in less than two hours... Probably tired from getting up early and doing all those strenuous tests."

Shinji flinched. _Don't say it._

Misato's sly look intensified. "She won't put up a fight. You'll be gentle, won't you?"

_Dammit. _The boy blushed. _Should've stayed in bed._

"Or... Maybe you won't let her rest until she's too exhausted to-"

"Shut up!" Shinji shouted, cutting her off.

The Captain stood up and bowed low. "I apologize, my lord," she said reverently, before looking up and adding in a mocking tone, "A little testy this morning, aren't we?"

Shinji sighed again, just as the toast popped up. He took the two slices from the toaster, laid them on a plate, and buttered them, all automatically. "Sorry. I just- It's really-" _Dammit. _"I can't stop thinking. What am I gonna do, what's she gonna do- What am I supposed to do, anyway?"

Misato sat back down, frowning as he charge handed her the toast she had requested. "I thought we went over this already," she mumbled, stuffing one of the slices in her mouth.

"I can't do stuff like this... As soon as I see her I'm going to forget everything-" _And babble like an idiot. Again. God, this sucks._

"Tell her you want to get to know her better," Misato said, getting up to get a beer, "I told you that already. It isn't that hard."

Shinji set his head down, propping it up on his hands. "I can't talk to people, Misato," he said seriously. "If I tried to tell her that it'd come out as: I want your ice cream. Please chocolate my hammer pants."

Misato giggled, popping the tab on the can she was holding. "Like that would be so bad," she laughed. "I'm sure she'd love to chocolate your pants... And more."

_Dammit. _"God," the Third Child groaned, "Do you have to do that so much?"

"What? Imply that you and Rei have or will have a sexual relationship?" Misato asked carefully, setting her open beer on the table.

"Y- Yeah."

"Of course!" the Captain said happily, "And your reactions make it all worthwhile!" She picked up the beer and chugged it, then chucked the empty can in the general direction of the garbage.

Shinji rubbed his eyes tiredly.

"Look, it's not that bad," Misato offered, sitting down next to him, "It's not like she's so much better at it than you. She always puts everything so bluntly..." _It's kinda creepy._

"I know."

"You have anxiety issues. You have trouble making friends or even acquaintances. You have trouble voicing your thoughts to people you don't know well," Misato listed, holding up three fingers. "Rei has emotional issues. She has trouble relating to people. Whenever she speaks her mind she sounds like a robot from the 1950s," the woman continued, holding up three fingers on her other hand. "You're perfect for each other."

Shinji laughed derisively. "Yeah, that makes a lot of sense."

"Maybe you can help each other," Misato suggested, "Everyone needs someone to lean on, even her. Why do you think she came to you and not one of your classmates, or something?"

"Maybe she did," the boy said sadly.

"Ha! Rei talking to anyone except you or the Commander? That's almost crazy enough to make the world explode."

Shinji said nothing.

The Captain sighed. "She likes you, right?" at the boy's nod she continued, "You like her back, don't you?" another nod. "Why are teenagers so dense?" she said to herself, more than loud enough for him to hear. "Go out! Get married! Have kids! Or at the very least, get to know each other! I can do it, and I'm a raging alcoholic!"

Shinji laughed. "No you're not."

Misato got another beer. _Sometimes I wonder._

"Thanks," the boy said. "Thanks again, I mean. Sorry for freaking out all the time..." his face fell as he remembered the last battle. Disobeying orders, nearly getting himself and his only friends killed. It was things like that that made him think he was some sort of psychotic, which actually led to part of his anxiety. He wasn't just afraid that people would hurt him, but also that he would hurt them.

"You know," the woman said wryly, "I could pick her up from NERV so she doesn't have to take the train... It gets really crowded on Sunday and she hates crowds," Shinji's look said he followed so far. Misato continued, "If you just happened to be in the car for some reason..."

"You and your plans..."

Misato took offense. "Hey! I'm the Operations Director! It's my nature!"

Shinji chuckled. "I didn't say it was a bad plan," he stated, "But I see her at school-"

"Bullshit!" the Captain yelled in his ear, "You're going to just sit here at home on the weekend when you could be out with Rei? And you tell me you can always see her at school? Who the hell do you think you're dealing with?"

"I- What?" Shinji sputtered.

Misato grinned inwardly. Outwardly she was behaving like a drill sergeant who was just told by a new recruit that the boot-shining could always wait till tomorrow. "I order you to get off your ass right now, mister spineless! You're coming with me to get Rei, and I'm either going to drop you both off at her place or the nearest mall, and you're going to spend the day together, dammit!"

"Y- Yes Ma'am!" the Third Child shouted, saluting awkwardly. _This is ridiculous._

"Awesome!" the purple-haired woman shouted back, "Now get me another effin' beer and two more slices of toast or I'll order you to sleep with her!" _I can't believe that's a threat to him. What the hell's wrong with his balls? Get a sex drive, Dammit!_

"Yes Ma'am!"

The rest of breakfast went predictably. At one point there were push-ups and an obstacle course, and at the halfway mark PenPen buried himself under the couch cushions to keep Misato's voice from shattering his eardrums. Humans sure seemed to love their obscenities.

Rei's morning was considerably more dull. There were synch tests, cross-indexed synch tests, and at one point Doctor Akagi left "to get some coffee" and didn't come back. Regardless, the technicians handled all the procedures perfectly, so there was no reason to worry, but the absence of the faux blond was, at the very least, odd. _She was ordered to supervise all synchronization tests. Perhaps the Commander found something more important for her to do, _Rei wondered as she pulled her school uniform back on.

All of the girl's orders had been fulfilled, and her shower had removed any trace of LCL, so there was nothing left for her to do at NERV. She finished buttoning her shirt and exited the locker room, heading in the direction of the nearest elevator. _The Commander was not in a pleasant mood._

The elder Ikari had called Rei to his office as soon as she entered the GeoFront. She arrived quickly, knowing more or less what he was going to say. The visit was short, as the bearded man had a lot of work to do and didn't want to waste time being more civil than he had to. He got straight to the point.

"It has come to my attention that you are attempting to pursue a relationship with the Third Child."

"Yes," Rei replied truthfully.

The Commander folded his hands. "It is not my concern what you do outside of NERV, provided that you follow orders and continue to pilot Unit 00 to a satisfactory degree."

"Understood."

"You know, then," the Commander said gravely, "That I will not tolerate any development that negatively affects your performance. If your synch ratio drops below an acceptable level or I feel that the Third's... influence on you is anything less than desirable, you must terminate your relationship with him immediately."

"Yes, sir."

The Commander's face softened imperceptibly. He seemed satisfied with Rei's answer. "Good. You are dismissed."

The First Child turned on her heel and left, closing the door to the cavernous office behind her. The man had said nothing she did not expect him to say. All was well.

Now, however, she was not so sure. If her synch scores went down, or she became insubordinate to even a small degree, the Commander would force her to stay well away from Shinji. Rei was not concerned about following orders, for she could easily manage impulse with self-control, and obedience was second nature to her. The real problem was synchronization. It was impossible to manipulate her synch score consciously. It simply followed naturally as an expression of her unconscious mental state.

Would EVA respond better or worse if Shinji was on her mind? If she was happy or sad, what kind of a difference would it make? It had been suggested by the Doctor and the Commander both that someone who is satisfied or in a good mood would attain a higher score, but since neither Rei nor Shinji were often in such a state, the claim was unprovable. The Third Child's synch scores had increased since his first sortie, but that seemed to have everything to do with experience and nothing to do with contentedness.

In a short time Rei reached the main surface elevator, swiped her keycard, and entered. The ride to the surface would be her last respite before the train. It was Sunday, which meant the entire population of Tokyo-3 would be out shopping and doing various other nonsensical things. Most of them would take the train. The train Rei had to ride home. She sighed. _I dislike crowds. _

The elevator hummed softly as it slid upwards on its magnetic tracks, transporting its lone passenger outside the GeoFront with nary a complaint. It sound was strangely soothing to some, though it annoyed others. Rei had no preference. To her it was just another piece of the background, to be observed once and forgotten forever. Of vastly greater importance to her was her relationship with Shinji, and the question of his decision. _I hope he has had sufficient time. I would like an answer, but I will not press him. _Asking him directly would be against Rei's nature, and it probably wouldn't accomplish anything. He would stall, saying he had been too bogged down with school or housework to think about anything.

This thought brought a tiny inward smile to the First Child. Shinji was nearly the complete opposite of the stereotypical male. He was unassertive instead of aggressive, possessed negligible physical strength, and had no qualms about acting as the Captain's personal maid. As his friends were fond of pointing out, he bore an extreme resemblance to a housewife. There was nothing on the outside that suggested power or any illusion of it. He was easily bent to the will of others, and often served them without protest.

_But he cannot be judged on appearance alone. _During the last battle, Shinji openly defied the orders of his superior, refused to retreat, and attacked the Angel with his progressive knife. More than that, he screamed the entire time he was doing it. There was something else inside him, something that he had repressed for a very long time. _Shinji is a very strange person. But I am strange as well... _

At long last, the elevator reached the top of its shaft, and opened with a ding. Rei stepped out quickly, and the doors closed behind her. She had come out at the usual place, an inconspicuous NERV lot close to the train station. It was almost always empty, but today appeared to be an exception. _That looks very much like the Captain's car._

"Hey, Rei! Over here!"

_That is indeed the Captain's car._ _But she is not alone. Is that-_

The beat-up blue Alpine stood motionless some distance away, with two of its wheels up on the curb, a testament to the Captain's driving. Two people had been leaning on its back bumper when Rei had arrived, obscured by a nearby light pole. Now both of them were standing in front of the car, in full view. One, obviously, was Misato, and the other was Shinji, looking rather embarrassed and keeping his hands awkwardly pressed at his sides.

Rei walked faster.

Misato grinned widely, still feeling a slight buzz from the dozen or so beers she had had that morning. "Katsuragi express leaves in one minute! Have your boarding passes ready!" she shouted.

In a moment Rei was close enough to speak. "I do not possess a boarding pass for your vehicle, Captain," she said.

The purple-haired woman chuckled. "It was a joke, Rei. Wanna ride?"

Shinji said nothing. The very instant he saw the First Child coming toward him his mind decided to skip town.

Rei glanced at him. Her expression was neutral. "That would be acceptable," she stated in monotone. _Shinji appears to be uncomfortable in my presence. That is understandable._

Misato opened the passenger door. "Who wants shotgun?" she asked. When neither Child said anything, she offered, "You can sit on Shinji's lap, if you want," while staring Rei in the face and mustering up the most serious look she could.

The Third Child's face reddened considerably.

While the prospect of being so close to the boy was undeniably exciting, Rei almost immediately decided against it. "I will sit in the back," she said. _He has not made his decision. To attempt to convince him in such a manner would be... unjust._

Unfortunately, the Captain wasn't about to just let it go. "You're right," she supposed, "There's room to lie down in the back. I guess it'd be easier."

_That is not what I meant. _But even Rei blushed at that suggestion, if only a little.

Misato leaned into the car and pulled a handle beneath the passenger seat, making it pull all the way forward. There was barely enough space for someone to squeeze through into the back seats. "Get in," she said cheerfully.

Since this was a command and not a question, Rei obeyed without a second thought. She bent down, got her upper body through the small space, and climbed in. For a brief moment her skirt caught on the door frame, exposing her panties.

Shinji's eyes widened considerably, and he quickly looked away, muttering "Sorry" in a low voice. Misato was tempted to laugh.

After Rei had secured herself, the Captain gestured to the boy, giving him a knowing look. There was no way she was letting him off the hook. If she had to stuff him in there herself he was gonna sit next to the blue-haired chick, dammit!

With great reluctance (or fear, nobody could tell), the brown-haired introvert compressed himself into the small space between the body of the car and the front seat, and took his place next to Rei, who had defaulted to staring out the window. She smoothed her skirt absently and propped up her head with her right hand.

"Fasten your seat belts, kids," Misato called out, plopping into the driver's seat and slamming the door, "We're going back to the future!"

_At the speeds you drive I do not doubt it, _Rei remarked sarcastically to herself.

The key was turned, the electric engine purred, and the bright blue Alpine took off, destined for the Ayanami place at 120 mph.

Silence reigned in the back seat as both pilots were pressed into the upholstery. The First Child would not speak unless she was addressed. The Third Child couldn't form a coherent thought to save his life. But, as usual, his body acted without consulting his higher functions. He tapped Rei's shoulder to get her attention. She turned her head to look at him.

Shinji gulped. "Rei?"

The blue-haired girl nodded. Her brain, for lack of a better term, crossed its fingers.

"I- Uh- I have something to tell you."


	5. Chapter 05: Staying Power

**Apologies for the late update. I worked longer than usual this week, so there wasn't a lot of time for writing. Please don't hurt me. Finally (and i mean this) there's a chapter that captures the essence of feel-good. Welcome to the beginning of romance. Read on and enjoy the corniness.**

* * *

Rei remained motionless, or as much as she could while Misato tried to break the world land speed record. If she was affected by Shinji's words, she did not show it outwardly.

"I- I'd like to get to know you better," the boy said. _Well that was easy._

The blue-haired girl nodded. "That is acceptable. I would like to know you better as well."

Shinji blinked. "Y- You would?" _God, I'm such an idiot._

Rei shifted slightly. "Yes." _Did I not propose to you?_

The driver of the almost-airborne Alpine smiled. The Third Child was trainable. Now if only he would stop apologizing and assert himself, things might actually move along. For now, though, everyone could benefit from some Captain Intervention. "Where to?" Misato asked.

Both Children glanced at the front seat.

"What do you want, a signal flare?" the Captain shouted. "Are we going to Rei's or do you two want to know each other somewhere else?"

Shinji immediately blushed and muttered something incomprehensible. His counterpart took it upon herself to answer for him.

"My apartment is acceptable. It is within walking distance of the train station," Rei said in monotone.

Misato nodded. "We'll be there in a couple minutes. Call me if you need anything, kay Shinji?" she glanced back at the boy, taking her eyes off the road. Surprisingly she seemed to drive better when she wasn't watching where she was going.

Lacking any other course of action, Shinji agreed. Fortunately he had actually brought his cell phone with him, though he didn't really know why.

The Alpine sped around the city in a wide arc, reaching the Ayanami dwelling in record time. Though the small electric car almost did a mid-air flip at one point, neither of the passengers showed any sign of distress. Rei, of course, having ridden an ejecting entry plug indoors, wouldn't have been phased by anything less than a trip on the space shuttle. Shinji was just used to it.

After barely making a complete stop without slamming into a light pole, Misato put the car in park and turned around in her seat. "You kids have fun now, alright? Use protection!" she said happily, "Now get out. I've got an appointment with the brewery."

Shinji slid across and opened the passenger door. The front seat was still pushed all the way forward, so he didn't have too much trouble getting out. Rei followed him, keeping her skirt pressed down with her hands. No sooner had the Children stepped away from the vehicle when the electric engine purred madly and Misato took off. With an ingenious maneuver she slammed the still-open door into a garbage can, shutting it and scratching the paint in the process.

The blue-haired girl looked at the rather bewildered Third Child and asked, "Shinji, what is the brewery?"

The boy sighed. "Our fridge."

"I see." _The Captain seems to consume a large amount of alcohol. Perhaps she has a condition. _Rei motioned to the steps that led into the decaying building she called home. Various hastily painted messages adorned the concrete walls. Some referenced "the man", others a person called "pimp slab". All were cringe-inducing.

Shinji nodded and followed the girl as she led him into the great graffiti stronghold. _I can't believe she lives in a place like this. Why doesn't she move?_

The two walked in silence as they climbed to the fourth floor, where the walls and floor were noticeably cleaner. This was mostly because the various vagrants that lived in the area found it difficult to climb even one flight of stairs while drunk, high, and suffering from head trauma. Suffice it to say that Rei's neighborhood wasn't Beverly Hills.

Abruptly, the First Child came to a stop. "Here," she breathed. The door in front of her was the same as every other in that building, save for one difference. It led to her place of residence, her only sanctuary outside of NERV. Would it be alright for someone else to share this space? _Yes. I wish for this to be his home as well._

Rei turned the handle, and pushed the door open. Without reservation she stepped inside, with Shinji right behind her.

"Welcome," she said, turning her head slightly. _Is he displeased?_

The Third Child had not seen so much filth since Misato's apartment after the first battle. Granted, there were no beer cans, but that was a small condolence. The floor was so covered with dirt and dust that it could have been bright orange underneath and no one would notice. Bandages, both bloody and clean, overflowed from the garbage can by the bed, and were haphazardly stuffed in a cardboard box beside the dresser. Refuse was scattered everywhere, to the point that some of it might have been forced up the walls due to overcrowding. The only clean thing in sight was the bed. The sheets were so white they could be used to focus sunlight.

"I-" _What am I supposed to say? Holy God, this apartment's going to make me puke? Are you trying to raise a colony of rats and homeless people? _"I- Um- Nice place," Shinji stuttered. The neat freak in him was simultaneously trying to hide and commit suicide.

Rei turned to face the boy fully. "You look unwell. Is something the matter?" she asked curiously. Indeed, the Third had survived the Alpine adventure without a scratch, but as soon as he actually reached his destination he started retching.

Shinji palmed his forehead. _Okay, how to say this without being a douche... _"How- How can you live here?" _Dammit._

"I do not understand," the girl replied. _He looks disgusted._

_I'm going to get cancer. _"It's everywhere," Shinji moaned. "It's just like Misato's. This is going to take forever." _I'm not kidding. If I take another breath in here I'm going to get cancer._

Rei was starting to look confused. "What do you mean?"

_That's it. I've got cancer. _The brown-haired boy looked his counterpart in the eyes. Dust fell around him like an aura of unclean. "We have to clean this up," he said gravely.

Rei looked around. The apartment was no different from the way she left it. "Why?" she asked pointedly.

Being deprived of any logical thoughts, Shinji mustered up, "Because we do." He looked around again and shuddered. "This is just- wrong. We've gotta clean this place up."

The First Child did not understand the reason for the boy's strange behavior, but she didn't have much of a choice but to go along with him. He was too determined to be argued with. "Alright. I will assist you," she said. _I have cleaned the classroom at school. This will be no different._

She was right, in a way. But the class representative never let class 2-A get nearly as dirty as Rei let her home. All in all, it took more than two hours to get the tiny apartment up to Shinji's lofty standards of cleanliness. Though the girl did not complain once, there were undoubtedly many things which she would rather have been doing. However, any time spent with Shinji was still time spent with Shinji, no matter how you cut it, so she was content. At any rate, she had not seen him so passionate about anything other than killing Angels. It was interesting.

At the end of it all, the apartment sparkled like a brand-new car. The bandages had all been disposed off, the instant food wrappers and miscellaneous plastic trash was gone, and best of all, the floor was back to its original glory. Well, it was still gray, but it wasn't dirty any more, so that counted as a win in Mr. Ikari's book. The effect was worth every minute of his time. To walk into a room and just smell the clean, it was priceless. No one but him could understand the significance, and no one wanted to.

The boy gave his red-eyed companion a thumbs-up. "It looks a lot better now, doesn't it?" he laughed.

Rei nodded. "Yes," she agreed. _This no longer resembles my apartment._

His task complete, Shinji quickly faded back into his normal persona. _Okay, now this is just weird. But it smells nice. _"So, what now?" he said sheepishly. _There's no TV, no radio... _

The blue-haired girl glanced at the clock beside her bed. "It is lunchtime," she remarked absently. "I will prepare your meal."

"Y- You don't have to do that," Shinji said awkwardly.

Rei walked into the kitchen, replying, "I am your host. Is it not proper?_" He has returned to normal. How odd._

The boy looked away. "Sorry, I didn't mean to... Impose, I just-"

"Thank you, Shinji," Rei said abruptly, cutting him off.

For a moment, the Third acted like he was in shock. When he came to his senses, he could only manage, "W- What?"

Rei reached into the fridge and retrieved a large container of rice, saying, "Thank you. No one has... Done this before." _I do not know what to feel._

Shinji blinked. "What? Cleaned your apartment?"

The First paused for a second, as if contemplating what to say. "No," she told him, "I am aware of the squalid conditions around me. I had simply grown used to them," she explained, scooping some of the rice into two small bowls, "No one has expressed their concern regarding my living status." _Does he understand?_

The boy suddenly took a great interest in his shoes. "No one cared?" he asked quietly.

Rei shook her head. "If they did, I was not aware of it. It has been like this for some time."

Shinji looked up. _I see. Even Father... No one said anything. This place was horrible, someone must have noticed! I know Misato's been here at least once... And no one said anything? What the hell's wrong with everyone? Doesn't anyone give a shit?_

No, he realized, as he surveyed the girl in front of him. No one, not even the accursed Gendo Ikari, thought it any of their business that Rei Ayanami lived in perpetual filth deep inside the worst part of the city. As long as she kept piloting, attending school, and following orders like a good girl, her well-being was of no concern. Everyone just assumed she would take care of herself, and she did, to a point. But what kind of adult leaves a fourteen year old girl to live alone in a bad neighborhood with no one around for support or help if anything went wrong? The whole thing was just insane.

Before he knew what he was doing, Shinji was across the room, wrapping his arms around the soft-spoken girl in the kitchen. His embrace was deliberately soft, as if he was handling something so fragile that it would break if he even squeezed it between two fingers. Without a second thought, the Third Child raised his head to Rei's ear and whispered,

"I care about you."

There was a soft gasp. Whether it was due to Shinji's tightening hold or surprise at the admission, or both, was unknown. Whatever the case, the blue-haired girl immediately dropped what she was doing, and devoted her full attention to the boy behind her.

"Shin... ji." she sighed. _What is this feeling? Is this- Is this what I have been looking for?_

Carefully, the boy relaxed his arms, letting them fall to Rei's waist as he pressed himself against her, setting his head on her shoulder. "Even if no one else does, Rei," he said softly, "I care about you. I won't let anything happen to you."

_A promise? _"Shinji? Why?" the girl asked, as if to make sure he was sincere.

The Third Child was overwhelmed. His fear of intimacy was as strong as ever, continually screaming at him to back off and get the hell out. But it was overridden by the most powerful sense of right he had ever felt. There was no way he could leave things the way they were. Rei needed someone, in her own little way, she was crying out for help, and she had come to him. To disappoint her would be impossibly cruel. To stay distant would be wrong. How long she had been ignored didn't matter. What mattered was that she would never be alone again.

Rei stood stock still, letting Shinji touch her without even a token protest. _His selflessness... Can I match it? Does he need me as I need him? _At the moment, though these thoughts were strong, they mattered not. If the boy was ever in pain, she would do the same for him as he for her. And so, Rei let him comfort her, with the understanding that if he ever needed it, she would give it unhesitatingly. Such was the requirement of the bond.

"I can't let you be alone anymore," Shinji said. "I can't let you." _W- Where is this coming from? Am I really saying this? I'm not stuttering either..._

Rei covered Shinji's hands with hers and leaned back slightly, trying to mimic the position she had seen so many times in movies and magazines. She could feel his breath on her neck, the warmth of his body melting into her back. It was something she had never felt before, and decided on the spot that she would have to enjoy again.

"Shinji..." she sighed, almost silently. "Will you stay?"

It seemed like an eternity before the boy answered, lifting his head from her shoulder and wiping his eyes, whispering, "I'll stay as long as you want."


	6. Chapter 06: Actions

**This was extraordinarily difficult to write, but now that it's over with and I've set up the next few chapters, it'll be easy. I hope. Actually, I've been planning the last part almost since the beginning of the story, and obviously I've got a decent bit laid out in my head. I swear on my honor as a writer the next update will be within three days. Apologies for the grammar mistake, it's fixed now.**

* * *

Some may spend their entire lives searching for the perfect moment, that one second when time seems to stop, and you realize that nothing could be more right. For Rei Ayanami, that moment had come, and, more than that, it refused to end, and promised to return in the future. As long as Shinji Ikari existed, the feeling would exist as well. To say that the introverted girl was happy would be an incredible understatement.

_This is... Very nice, _Rei settled on. _I would like to repeat this experience as often as possible._

Shinji's brain, stressed to the point of madness by two opposite desires, babbled incoherently. On one hand he wanted to run very far away, bury his head in the sand, and forget that he had ever been close to anyone. On the other hand he wanted to leave his fear of pain behind and embrace happiness, accepting his now-romantic relationship with Rei as the only one he was likely to have, and the only one he would need.

Silence reigned in the tiny apartment's kitchen, broken only by the breathing of two Children, who held each other tenderly and tightly at the same time. It had been several minutes since Shinji took action, wrapping his arms around Rei in a display of affection that startled both the giver and receiver.

_I'm either dreaming or out of my mind. _The boy's head was nestled beside Rei's, tilted sideways so that his lips touched her neck. _This doesn't happen. I don't do this. She doesn't do this either. How the hell did we get this way? _He was at a loss. Rei needed someone to care for her and someone to care for, and Shinji just happened to be that someone. But of course that was impossible, because he just wasn't that lucky. It had to be a cruel twist, some sort of cosmic joke, but it wasn't. _I- Am I- Kissing her?_

Shinji's eyes opened rapidly, darting up to glance at the girl's face. Her eyes were closed, and the corners of her mouth were creeping upwards ever so slightly, in one of the biggest displays of emotion she had ever shown. It was obvious that she was happy, and if she minded the presence of his lips, she didn't say anything.

_She asked me to stay, _Shinji remembered. _I said yes. That's the only smart thing I've ever done._

Deciding instantly to ignore every single rule his mind had ever made, the boy lifted his head, shifted slightly, and kissed Rei's cheek, shutting his eyes in anticipation of a slap or something worse. Thankfully, that didn't happen.

The First Child's eyes fluttered open, as if she had been in a deep sleep and just rudely awakened. When she realized what was happening, her smile grew imperceptibly. _I did not realize... Does he wish to continue? _She opened her mouth, whispering "Shinji."

"Ah!" the boy almost shouted, drawing back immediately. _Oh shit oh shit she's going to hit me._

At his reaction Rei asked, with a little disappointment, "Why did you stop?"

For a moment Shinji's mouth continued to move, but no sound came out. When he finally spoke all he said was "What?"

The girl turned her head so that she could look at him without straining. "I asked why you did not continue," she explained, "It was very pleasurable."

"You liked that?" the Third Child replied. _This is the part when Misato busts in and shouts "April fools, dumbass!" isn't it._ He gulped.

Rei nodded. "Yes. Did you not enjoy it?"

"It's- It's not that, I just- I-" Shinji paused to collect himself. "I didn't know if you did."

"I wish to be closer to you, Shinji," the girl stated. "I am- Happy, when you are with me."

_Mustn't run away. _"I-" _Mustn't run away. _"I-" _Mustn't run away! _"You make me happy too, Rei," Shinji said sheepishly.

In the space of a few minutes, Rei had now experienced two perfect moments. For someone who had known only distance and loneliness since the beginning of her life, the experience was overwhelming. The closeness that many teenagers might find trivial or commonplace was, to the First Child, like finding joy itself. Describing the feeling would be impossible, but expressing it was not so difficult.

Twisting in Shinji's grasp so that she faced him, Rei brought her arms around his neck and pulled him closer. At his pained expression she said, "Would you kiss me again?"

_Oh God. _"On- On the lips?" the boy stuttered.

"Yes," the girl answered, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. _He is hesitant. Have I asked for too much?_

Shinji closed his eyes and tried to pretend he wasn't making an ass of himself. Constantly. _Here goes... _He moved closer, puckering his lips.

Rei grew another tiny smile, closed her eyes, and met him halfway. Their lips barely touched, but she had never asked for anything more. For a first kiss, it was as perfect as either Child could ever hope for.

At long last, the ever-courageous Shinji pulled the girl closer, and kissed her as deeply as he could, or knew how. In response, Rei tightened her hold, wanting more than anything to stay like that forever.

The girl's heartbeat quickened. _He is surprisingly... Forceful. Is the weakness he shows to others a result of pain, or careful control?_

Shinji's paranoid self was going into fits. Obviously, nothing good could come of this, letting your guard down and daring to actually connect with someone else. _I don't care. She needs me. And I- I need her. Enough running. _But old habits die hard, don't they? The impulse to escape would remain. Perhaps forever. _That doesn't mean I have to obey it. I just- I get scared. But I- Dammit, she's worth it! I don't have to run anymore!_

With reluctance, Shinji pulled back, opening his eyes to find Rei staring back at him, wondering what he was going to do. And, though inside he was as fearful as if he was fighting Satan himself, he smiled.

"I- Rei, I-" he didn't finish. Or rather, he couldn't, because he was cut off by the ringing of two cell phones. _Oh. No._

The First Child hastily retrieved hers, clicking it open as her expression went absolutely blank. Shinji was too dumbstruck to do anything other than stare. _No. Not now._

"Captain," Rei acknowledged. "Yes. Yes. He is standing next to me. I understand," she said in monotone, snapping the small device closed as the conversation abruptly ended.

The Third Child clenched his fists. "What is it?" he whispered, noticing absently that his phone had stopped ringing.

The blue-haired girl looked up. "An Angel. A car has been sent for us."

Feeling like he had just been punched in the soul, Shinji stepped back to lean against the kitchen table. _Why now? Why?_

"I have enjoyed our time together," Rei stated, "We shall resume this," she paused for a second, unsure of what to call it, "-touching," she settled on, "after the Angel has been dispatched. Is that satisfactory?"

The boy nodded. "That's fine," he mumbled sullenly.

Rei moved closer, bending down slightly so she could look her counterpart in the eyes. "I will do my best to protect you, Shinji," she assured him, "Do not be concerned. You will survive."

_I'm not worried about me, _the boy thought, as a screeching car horn blared outside the apartment. _Why can't you-_

"We must go." With this simple statement Rei snapped Shinji out of his reverie, and led him to the door. In no time the two pilots were down the stairs and outside the building, sliding into the backseat of a jet black NERV sedan. Before the doors had even shut the black-suited, sunglasses-wearing agent in the front seat pressed the pedal to the floor, sending the small car hurtling down the worn-down street.

The Children strapped themselves in and fell silent. Rei defaulted to staring out the window, and Shinji just folded his hands in his lap and tried not to get too angry at the higher power dooming him to such misfortune. At the point when it was "just getting good", of course, that was when the Angel showed up. _What a load of crap._

The brown-haired boy stole a glance at the girl beside him, bracing himself as the car went tearing through a turn like Superman through skyscrapers.

As usual, Rei was lost in her own world, preparing herself for what lay ahead. _The Commander will not launch Unit 00. I cannot defend Shinji from inside the GeoFront. I believe my only course of action is to provide what the Captain calls "moral support". _She turned, and found the Third Child staring at her.

"Shinji," she began, "You will defeat the Angel. I am sure of it."

Once again shaken from his thoughts, Shinji shook his head, muttering "What?"

Rei smiled imperceptibly. "Unit 01 cannot be subdued easily. With your guidance its AT Field can withstand any attack."

The boy shuddered, remembering the third Angel breaking his arm and skewering his eye, and the fourth burning his hands, ripping through his abdomen. It wasn't his real body, but it sure as hell felt real. Neutralizing the Angel's AT Field meant leaving the EVA open to attack. So far that hadn't gone well.

As if she was reading his thoughts, Rei said, "You need not sacrifice your defense at once. Do not lower your shield until you can strike with your sword."

Shinji's brow furrowed. "Who said that?" he asked, knowing those weren't the girl's own words.

She looked away. "Your father's."

"Oh."

The rest of the ride to NERV took place without conversation. It was a very short trip, given the speed at which the Section 2 man was driving, but it felt like an eternity to the Third Child. The last thing he wanted to think about before a battle, or any time at all, was the Commander. Knowing how close Rei was to him just made things worse.

After entering the GeoFront and nearly being shoved out of the car, the two pilots ran quickly through Headquarters, suited up, and went to the EVA cages. Neither spoke to the other, but there was really nothing to say. Fighting godlike superbeings tends to leave one speechless.

"It's breached the final defense perimeter!" Makoto shouted, lines of red letters reflecting off his glasses. None of it was good news.

"Transformation to battle formation has been completed," Maya added, glancing back at the two people behind her. Doctor Akagi and Captain Katsuragi were on the bridge, looking decidedly grim. The Commander and Sub-Commander occupied their usual places at the top, stoic and unemotional as always.

Shigeru Aoba twisted in his chair, hitting several buttons beside his main console. "The Angel's slowing down! At this rate it'll come to a complete stop in eighteen seconds, right above Headquarters," he shouted.

Misato glared at the image on the main screen. "Shit, it's going for the direct route. Is Shinji ready?"

Ritsuko nodded. "Unit 01 is ready for launch. It's got a straight shot to the center of the city."

The Captain glanced upwards in time to see the Commander stand, pushing up his glasses with a gloved hand.

"Unit 00 will provide support. Deploy it to position five," he commanded.

"Yes, sir!" Misato yelled. "Launch EVA!"

Shinji cringed as the purple Evangelion shot toward the surface, fast enough for the acceleration to hold him motionless in the cockpit. The video feed from outside showed him an enormous, silver, diamond-shaped object, hovering in place where it had come to a stop a moment earlier. _What kind of Angel is this?_

Some distance away, Unit 00 catapulted into the heart of Tokyo-3, where it would provide covering fire with a long-distance rifle. Inside the entry plug, Rei found herself feeling very confused. _The Commander... He ordered me to support Unit 01. Why? He is not following any established tactical plan. This does not make sense._

As Unit 01 emerged from the ground, it still didn't make sense. But at least, it gave the blue-haired girl the chance to back up her words. Above the GeoFront, she could actually do some protecting.

Two long steel spines clanked into position above a set of wide-open blast doors, a split-second before the heavy frame containing Shinji's EVA bolted up into the city block, slamming into place and clamping itself to the pavement. The Third Child immediately expanded his AT Field, before the frame locks even disengaged. This might have been a mistake.

"We're reading a high-energy reaction inside the target!" Shigeru shouted.

Misato lunged forward, grabbing onto the technician's chair. "What did you say?"

A bright, brilliant light burst from one of the Angel's corners, shaping itself into a thin, straight beam that lanced toward Unit 01's midsection. The pilot was too surprised to form words.

"Shinji, duck!" Misato yelled, forgetting that the EVA was still bolted to the catapult. Movement was impossible, snapping the frame would take too long. He was trapped.

The First Child grabbed the entry plug controls and urged her EVA forward, forcing it to jump over a group of office buildings. She knew she wouldn't get there in time to deflect the attack, but she wasn't about to just sit there and pound the Angel with a sniper rifle. Her AT Field was no good at that range, and she had made a promise. _I have to protect him._

"Shinji!"


	7. Chapter 07: Fitful Sleep

**Apparently I can't follow my own deadlines. Oh well, I was never an honorable author anyway. This chapter is the longest I've written so far, and I hope it does justice to the story. EVA just isn't EVA without uncertainty, fear, and weirdness. Don't read too much into it, and enjoy.**

* * *

_You must not die._

In the split second before the Angel's beam struck Unit 01, a bright orange hexagon appeared in front of the EVA's chest, a visual testament to the power of the AT Field. For a moment the Angel's weapon was deflected and dispersed, but the EVA was unable to maintain its defense for long. The beam pierced through Unit 01's AT Field, impacting its heavy chestplate and liquefying it almost instantly. In unconscious response, Shinji tightened the field, flattening it and bending it as close to the EVA's skin as possible. This stopped the Angel from burning straight through the Evangelion, but did nothing to cool it down.

_You must not die._

The entry plug's temperature skyrocketed. All Shinji could do was scream, and hope the Field held long enough for someone to help him. Fortunately, he had support.

"Retract the catapult!" Misato yelled, "Raise the defensive plates!"

The bridge technicians complied, releasing the locks on Unit 01's frame and activating the retrieval system. As the Evangelion began moving back down the launch shaft, three thick titanium plates shot up out of the ground in front of it, blocking the Angel's beam. The EVA's retreat would have been perfectly executed, had it actually been recovered as planned.

Makoto gasped. "Shit! The catapult's melting!" He glanced back, catching Misato's frightened stare. "It's no good! It's fused with the rails!"

"It won't move?"

The bridge crew could only watch in horror as the Angel redoubled its efforts, reducing each plate to molten metal in quick succession. Unit 01 had sunk far enough into the tunnel to protect its chest, but its head and neck were still exposed, and the ground wasn't all that resistant to particle beams, as the Third Angel had proved.

To make matters worse, Shinji was about as far from consciousness as possible.

_You must not- No. You will not die. I will- _"You will not take him," Rei whispered.

Unit 00 easily cleared the last hurdle, bounding over an armory building and coming down hard right in the Angel's firing range, nearly burying its feet in the pavement in the process. It raised its hands as the Angel's beam burst through the last plate, and began searing into Unit 00's AT Field.

_There is little time. _"Captain," the First Child said, as loudly as she dared, "Close the blast doors." She didn't wait for an acknowledgment. Someone was counting on her.

Just as Unit 00's AT Field failed, Rei willed it into action, forcing it to jump out of the path of the beam. Before the Angel could adjust its aim, the orange EVA came down, squarely on Unit 01's shoulders. The impact shattered the already weakened catapult frame, leaving nothing to hold the two Evangelions up. Both of them promptly fell through the shaft, taking the gravity express to the GeoFront as the blast doors closed above.

Ignoring the blazing pain in her chest, Rei gave her final commands to the orange EVA. First, it wrapped its armored legs around Unit 01's neck, solidifying its grip while its arms stretched out to make contact with the walls of the shaft. Grabbing hold of the metal bars at either side of the catapult tunnel, Unit 00 halted its descent, and, with some difficulty, Unit 01's as well. Rei sighed with relief as both Evangelions hung beneath the ground, safe from the Angel's powerful attack. A few seconds later she winced, biting her lip to keep from calling out. Her arms felt like they were ready to split.

"Launch the spare frame!" the Captain shouted, adding quickly, "Engage the emergency brakes as soon as it's beneath them!"

Shigeru nodded, inputing her orders into the Magi. Moments later an empty catapult frame rocketed up the launch tube, grinding to a stop just below Unit 01.

Rei released her grip, letting the EVAs crash into the floor of the frame. It whined under the weight of the massive machines, but it held, and soon began sliding back down to the cages. Far above, where a river of titanium was now flowing into the ocean, the Angel floated into place directly above Headquarters, confident that it was no longer threatened. Without hesitation, it released its drill, driving through the ground with the laser-tipped implement on its way to its primary objective.

Emergency crews removed Unit 01's entry plug with a crane and maneuvered it to a nearby walkway, where paramedics waited anxiously with a gurney. As they wheeled Shinji to the medical wing, Unit 00 walked unsteadily toward its cage, running on battery power. Inside the massive Evangelion, the First Child shut her eyes, hoping that her quick action had saved her fellow pilot from serious harm.

_I did not expect this, _Rei admitted to herself, _But my assessment was correct. We are threatened with death on a regular basis. Our time is limited. We must move forward._

The Commander stood up, straightening his jacket shrewdly. "Katsuragi," he said, glaring down at his subordinates, "You will destroy the Angel before it reaches this facility. The next operation will not fail. Do I make myself clear?"

The Captain did not waver. "Perfectly, sir," she answered.

"I will not tolerate the loss of an Evangelion," the elder Ikari informed her, as he turned to leave, "Correct your mistake."

Both the Commander and Sub-Commander exited the bridge, bound no doubt for the bearded man's office, to discuss something important. Misato tried to relax.

_He won't tolerate it, huh? But I guess I can put the pilots in as much danger as I want, and he doesn't give a damn. _She sighed. _I have to go make sure Shinji's okay, but leaving my post... _"Ritsuko," she said, directing a pleading look at her blond friend.

The Doctor waved her hand. "Go, I'll take care of things here."

In a heartbeat the purple-haired woman was halfway down the hall, shouting a thank you back over her shoulder.

Ritsuko shook her head. "Alright," she told the three technicians, "Start drawing up plans for a counterattack. I don't care how far-fetched it is, as long as we can make it work." As the three nodded, the Doctor turned to Maya. "Get me a damage assessment on the EVAs. I need to know how long repairs are going to take," she told the young woman, adding as an aside, _Assuming Unit 01's core is still intact. Regeneration has its limits._

"Ma'am, about the EVAs," the technician said, "Actually, just about Unit 00..."

The Doctor moved closer. "What is it?"

Maya looked confused. "Just before Rei arrived at Shinji's position, her synch-ratio jumped about twelve points. After they were both back in the GeoFront it dropped back down to forty-one," she explained.

"Run a diagnostic on the plug feeds," the older woman ordered, "The Angel could have been interfering with the EVA's equipment." _If they learn how to do that we won't last long._

"Yes, Ma'am."

The Doctor settled back into her usual position, standing back with her hands in her coat pockets. If it turned out that the Angel wasn't to blame and the equipment wasn't faulty, then the problem would get a lot more interesting. _Increasing synchronization... For better control? Easier use of the AT Field? But would it be an unconscious response? I see. Protecting your fellow pilot, now, are we? How cute. _She grimaced. _I hope it's just a glitch. She's not supposed to be doing this. It just complicates things. For all of us._

When Misato finally reached the intensive care ward, she found that she had been beaten to it, by none other than the First Child. The blue-haired girl was standing motionless in front of the metal doors, still clad in her plugsuit and dripping LCL. A sign above the entrance made it clear that there was no admittance except to medical personnel. Until Shinji came out of there, Captains and pilots alike would have to stay outside, in the anxiety-intensifying waiting room. The awkward silence wasn't going to make things any easier.

Misato cleared her throat.

"Captain," Rei acknowledged, keeping her eyes on the door, "Is there something you require?"

"No, it's just-" _Oh dammit. _Misato closed her eyes. "It's my fault. It's my fault he got hurt. I shouldn't have just sent him up there- I can't believe-"

Rei turned her head. Her expression was as neutral as could be. "It is not your fault. The enemy's capabilities were unknown."

The purple-haired woman looked up, astounded that the First Child was actually speaking, and apparently trying to console her as well. _What did you do to her, Shinji?_

"You cannot plan against the Angels. You can only attack." With a slight frown Rei added, "It would be prudent to exercise caution. I do not wish for Shinji to perish in battle." _As he nearly did today. _

Misato found that she had absolutely nothing to say.

Rei returned her gaze to the unyielding metal door, considering the conversation over. She had made her thoughts clear, though no one had asked her to. Why? _It is what Shinji would do. He does not like to see others in pain. _

"Neither do I," the Captain said, at long last. "If I could go out there instead of him, I'd do it," her voice lowered. "But I can't."

"I see," the girl replied.

Misato backed up, slumping against the wall and placing her head in her hands. "I can't take his place. EVA won't move for me."

The girl's fingers twitched. "If it could, would he let you?"

"What?" the Captain mumbled.

"If you could take his place, would he let you?" the First Child rephrased.

Misato was silent for a moment. "No," she finally let out, "No, he wouldn't."

"Why?" Rei urged.

"Because he's not like that. Even if he has to risk his life, he'd do it if it meant someone else wouldn't have to," Misato said glumly. "He's had to make that choice twice already."

The First Child glanced at her right arm. She remembered it being in a cast, not so long ago. But those memories seemed so far away.

Misato looked up, wiping her eyes. "The first time he even got into that thing, it was so you wouldn't have to." She smiled.

Rei's eyes widened. _Yes. He chose another over himself._

"And the second time, for those two boys. He could have kept running, but he didn't. He protected them. The Angel could have killed them if he didn't stop it."

_Again, _Rei thought, _He chose others. I would not do the same. _She clenched her fists. _He cares nothing for himself. But am I so different? I do not share his motives. I only obey orders._

The Captain laughed. "Shinji's an odd one, alright. I guess we're all lucky he's here," she paused, whispering to herself, "Saving our sorry asses."

_And yet, _Rei continued, _I used my EVA as a shield. I protected him, though I was not ordered to do so. I was told to support him, nothing more. _

"God, we don't deserve him," Misato said, "He's just a boy. And we're using him as a weapon." _I never really asked him what he feels... When he pilots it. He's probably scared out of his mind whenever he gets in the damn plug, but he still does it. He's either insane or completely retarded. Anyone in their right mind would have gone straight home and never looked back._

The First Child crossed her arms behind her back, holding her right wrist in her other hand. _Shinji is only human. He is not indestructible, nor is he infallible. He fights without any assurance that he will return alive, but only to save others from the same fate. And still he believes himself unworthy of even basic gratitude. I do not understand._

There was a soft hiss as the doors to the intensive care ward slid open, allowing a single man in a white coat to enter the waiting room. The man's eyes settled on Misato.

"Captain. This way, please."

Ritsuko clutched her coffee cup like it was the essence of life itself. "Report," she grumbled. The counterattack planning was not going well. No one else seemed to possess an imagination like Misato's. Maybe it was the beer.

Maya called up the EVA monitors. "Unit 01's chestplate was heavily damaged. Replacement will take another two hours. Other than that, the EVA's fine, but the entry plug was cooked. It'll be switched out after a new plate's in place."

"And Unit 00?" Ritsuko asked hesitantly.

"The arm joints were overstressed, but that's all," Maya replied, "Regeneration will be complete in four hours."

_Well that's just great. _The Doctor sighed and took another sip. It was going to be a very, very long day. "How long until the Angel's drill reaches us?"

Makoto checked his screen. "Fifteen hours at its current speed," he said.

"Great, at least we have some time to come up with something," Ritsuko muttered sarcastically. _How long's Misato going to take?_

Elsewhere, in the impeccably clean hallways of NERV's medical wing, the Operations Director and the First Child walked at a brisk pace toward Shinji's room, following the rather bored-looking Chief Surgeon. After a short time he stopped abruptly, unceremoniously gesturing to the door beside him.

"Here," he said, touching the door's keypad. It slid open silently, revealing a plain white room with a large bed sitting against the wall. A heart monitor beeped continually in the background, attesting to the fact that Shinji was, indeed, alive. In fact, he looked as though nothing had ever happened, and he had just decided to take a nap.

The Chief Surgeon sighed. "There shouldn't be any lasting injury. Let him rest and he'll wake up on his own." He shoved his hands into his coat. "I'll be out here when you're ready for the details," he said to the Captain, "Go ahead."

Misato nodded and entered Shinji's room, taking great care to be as quiet as possible as Rei followed her. The door closed behind them, leaving them alone with the unconscious boy. His breathing was shallow but regular, and according to the monitor, his pulse was low, but nothing to worry about. He was surviving.

The Captain came up to the bed and examined the Third Child with a mournful look, still feeling that his current condition was her fault. Rei stood behind her, letting her arms fall to her sides. In a short while the same Shinji who was now lying motionless in a sterile hospital room would be back in an entry plug, no doubt defeating the Angel that had nearly succeeded in killing him. He couldn't rest forever, as long as the world needed him.

"You better hurry up and get back to us, Shinji," Misato whispered, "You know everything goes to shit when you're not around." She wiped her eyes and looked to the side. Even in this state he looked sympathetic. It was too much. "I'm sorry," the woman managed, "I'm so sorry we have to keep doing this to you." _He's just a kid. He should be out with his friends, not lying in this stupid place. Children aren't meant to be soldiers._

As this thought faded into silence, Rei advanced slowly, coming to Misato's side. She didn't say anything, but the look on her face made it clear. There was plenty that she could say, and more that she could think, but none of it really seemed appropriate. It was confusing, how seeing someone in that position could make all of your words useless. _I cannot properly express my feelings. There is no sentiment that would comfort him while he is asleep. Therefore, if I speak, I am speaking for my benefit, and not for his. But I am unable to accept inaction. I despise such dilemmas._

Rei moved forward until she was almost touching the bed, and smiled slightly.

The Captain glanced toward the door, feeling a little bit uncomfortable. "Do you want me to leave, or-"

"You may stay if you wish."

Without hesitation, Rei leaned over the unconscious Third Child, and kissed him on the lips.

Misato coughed. "I'll just be going now."

As the purple-haired woman left the room, Rei knelt at Shinji's side, laying her elbows on the bed and propping her head up with her hands. Not knowing what else to do, the girl simply stared into her counterpart's face, waiting for him to shiver, blink, anything, just to show that he was still himself. The real Shinji always reacted, stuttering an apology or shaking his head in disbelief. This boy did not. He just lay there, peaceful and oblivious. It wasn't normal.

_He is easily excited. Every event is cause for alarm or panic. I have grown to associate such emotional vocalizations with Shinji. His present removal from them is unnatural. _Rei watched his chest rise and fall as he inhaled and exhaled, keeping himself in the land of the living. _This is not a natural sleep. Were it so, I could accept his inactivity. Knowing that he has entered this state against his will is disconcerting._

The First Child came upon an interesting realization. It would be easier for her to deal with complete loss than incomplete. Knowing that Shinji was gone and would never return would allow her a sense of closure, and the ability to move on, if half-heartedly. On the other hand, seeing Shinji in a coma that he might never awake from or could come out of at any given moment, would be extremely difficult to handle. It all depended on whether her hope would suffer a quick death or an agonizingly slow one.

_We must move forward, _Rei told herself, _Before we are both lost._

Outside, in the hallway that ran the length of the ward, Captain Katsuragi inquired about the "details" the Chief Surgeon had mentioned. The man's tone immediately became grave, as if he was reading through obituaries instead of describing the condition of a patient.

"When I said there shouldn't be any lasting injury, I was being optimistic," the Chief Surgeon explained, "While the pilot's body is almost entirely in pristine condition, his brain did not make out so well."

Misato squirmed. Doctors never got to the point fast enough, and when they did, it was always horribly bad news that no one wanted to hear anyway.

"Luckily, as far as actual cell damage, he only suffered the equivalent of a high fever, give or take a few degrees," the Chief Surgeon continued. He gestured with his right hand while his left stayed inside his coat. "Unfortunately, the main problem isn't the cells, but the connections between them. The neural feedback affected his brain in a way that's difficult to describe." Of course, he tried anyway, because if he had decided to stop there, Misato would probably have thrown him through a wall.

"Describe it," the Captain ordered.

The Chief Surgeon blinked. "Right, well we ran some tests, did an EEG and an MRI and all that, and ran the results back through the Magi. After comparing them with earlier results, we were able to work out what's changed." He paused, as if he was trying to figure out how to put it all in words. "Some of the connections have been re-arranged, like parts of his brain burnt out and were haphazardly repaired. But the funny thing is," he almost chuckled, but a vision of a woman's fist punching straight through his skull forced him to cough instead. "...everything vital works exactly as it did before. Motor skills, hand-eye coordination, all that, according to the Magi, hasn't been damaged or changed at all."

"Then what has?" the Captain asked impatiently.

"The centers related to higher reason, emotion, conscious thought, most of what isn't actually necessary to move the body and keep it alive. Basically, if we took out all the parts of the brain that the pilot could do without and still operate on instinct, that's what's been affected," the Chief Surgeon said, taking a breath. _I'm not a neurologist, this isn't my forte. But damned if I don't handle every damn thing already. _He continued, "We don't know how this is going to affect him, or if it even will at all. The Magi weren't able to make any serious predictions."

Misato sighed. She was just tired of dealing by this point. "So you don't really know anything, do you?"

The Chief Surgeon shook his head. "We know plenty, we just don't know what it all means yet. Messing with those areas of the brain could change a person completely. But, at least, he'll still be able to pilot, in any case."

"As if that's all we care about," Misato said sarcastically. "Thanks for your time. Now get the hell out of my sight before I beat you with your own assumptions."

Without another word, the Chief Surgeon retreated to another room, muttering something about not being a neurologist, and not being able to use all those fancy words around the uneducated commoners.

The purple-haired Captain rubbed her eyes and turned around so that she faced the door. She looked through the tiny window, considering that on the off chance Rei was taking advantage of unconscious, uncomplaining Shinji, she would want some privacy. After this thought, what the First Child was actually doing was mildly disappointing. The blue-haired girl was simply kneeling at the boy's side, propping her head up with one arm and resting the other across his chest.

Misato sighed, for what seemed like the hundredth time that evening. _I guess I'll have to get back to work now. Angels to kill and all. God, this is the crappiest day ever. Right when those two are getting somewhere and I nearly get the guy killed, put him in a coma, and listen to some dumbass doctor tell me he might not even be the same when he wakes up! Dammit I need a beer._

As the Captain scurried off to find a supply of alcohol and return to the Bridge, Rei ran her fingers across the blanket covering The Third Child's sleeping form. _I do not believe I have thanked you properly, _she thought, _for protecting myself and countless others. It would be impossible to repay you for your sacrifice, but that does not mean I cannot try. Please wake soon, Shinji._

The heart monitor beeped with unbelievable regularity. Despite Rei's urging, the unconscious pilot remained motionless and unchanging.

_Is it too much to ask for our time together to be uninterrupted? Had the Angel not chosen this day, we would have been able to continue. _

The heart monitor spiked.

_I wish to be with you again, Shinji. Without you, I am alone in this world. I cannot be apart from you. You are the only one who understands. You are the only one who knows what it is like._

Shinji's hand twitched.

_Please wake up, Shinji. Let me thank you. For showing me a life beyond my own, let me thank you. I cannot return without you, Shinji. Please, awake._

The boy opened his eyes, and screamed.


End file.
